I dont want to break up with him, i wanna break his heart first ? Help?

Ok so we been togather since 2006... Cheated 5 times... While im in love with him.. Apologized few times.... Now we r bk togather, 1 years i "thought" we are the best couples... Today i find out all this year he's talking ship abt me and the only reason he's with me cause im a super glue, so basically 0 living a prayer" I dont want to just break up with him, i want to break his heart, i know he's gonna miss me, and it'll break his heart, but that's not enough, i want to melt his heart, an break up... Can someone smart enough please help me? Cause I've been living a fake relationship for 7 years.. I deserve help Im panicking.. I still love him so much but im done. .