Self harm issues? Someone help?

I'm a 17 year old guy. I do self harm a lot. Basically I take the reverse end of a tweezer, where its flat, put it above a lighter until its hot, and press it onto my my arm. I do this for about an hour or so until my leg has a good amount of red patches on it. Also I think about suicide almost every hour. I don't think I am meant to be happy, there is just something wrong with my brain that won't let me feel ok so I want to kill myself. Is there anythingn I could try before I kill myself. I go to a psychotherapist but i never tell him anything bad because if I do my mom would freak out and make me feel guilty.