help me please, someone?

hungry, tired, can't sleep, don't want to eat, losing weight ( a lot ) no friends, social anxiety, can't leave house, I try but can't, depressed, lonely, no family member wants to help me. feeling hopeless, want friends, want a life, try hard, always fail. i don't know what to do, really I can't leave the house, no matter what I try, baby steps etc. nothing works. I want to live, or I want to die, tired of being in-between. now i am 30, so many years wasted, so much time i will never get back, was beat, abused by alcoholic mom/dad. life is pointless?