Please Help.... I need The most help and advise i can get?

Hi im trying to communicate to some who has went through or is going through depression. please any help Well about 2 months ago i got majorly depressed and this is my first time going through feeling this much pain, it felt like my life was on pause or something. I could hardly eat, do the things i enjoy , and i could hardly focus. i felt really sad and got the craziest thoughts ive ever thought. i thought of hurting my loved ones and myself but i dont know why. i love my family to death and when i thought of this it felt heart breaking and i felt extremely guilty. for some reason it was very hard for me to go about everyday life and it still is, it feels like i get more sensitive to things i used to never even care about before. i want me to stop feeling like this completely but it feels like im going to be stuck like this forever. i dont know how to explain it but sometimes it feels like i am dreaming. i hate thinking about the future as well beacause all i think about is how depressed im still going to be and the sadness i will feel. i dont want to hurt anyone or myself. to be honest i love myself and everyone around me but i have incredibly horrible thoughts, i dont know why, i just want to go back to myself. i used to feel so alive, happy, have alot of fun, look forward to the future, enjoy being around my family and friends. i used to be a great guy, i never got affended fast, i let things slide, i was always happy, i never thought so crazy. it feels like there is nothing left for me, i feel somewhat alone and empty, it feels like life is something you have to cope with, ive never felt like this before, it feels so overwealming.... it feels like im turning into one of those crazy people who murder. im terrified Please, will i ever go back to feeling alive, happy, enjoy things, and find the loving person i use to be, it feels like im never going to be the same, like if im turning evil and starting to think its normal?