Question #12250052

Should I move on from the love of my life or try again? So confused!?

The girl who so far has been the love of my life I had dated for 2 years, from age 22. She was my second girlfriend (first was a teenage puppy love relationship). In short, the problem is that we argued a lot, we would wind each other up and didn't communicate maturely. It got verbally abusive between us at times, and physically at one time. But despite this, we couldn't leave each other! We have such an electric chemistry, which is what drew us to each other. I've never had a bond with a girl like that before. I feel like she is my soul mate and she feels the same. I'm heartbroken that it didn't work out, although we tried for two years. Because of the arguments and the stressful financial situation we were in (we cohabited) I became unhappy and I felt like I wasn't receiving any admiration and affection from her, it was a really rough patch for us. So one night, I was out and got drunk and ended up going to a brothel, which I'm ashamed of. To add to the stressors, her parents don't like me because I was selfish to her when we first started going out (I'll admit, I was a spoiled brat when I was younger) but eventually, I grew up and treated her better. We've been apart 6 months and a few weeks ago, she asked me to meet her and it went nicely, she said "if you ever want to do something, you know where I am" so I guess she wants me back and is waiting for me. The problem now is that I am catching up on all the womanising I missed out on when I was younger due to shyness. I'm enjoying that freedom and I worry that due to this commitment issue, if we got back together, I might end up wanting to cheat again or that we may start arguing again. It sucks because I really do love her as a person, she's beautiful on the inside but not so much on the outside ( although I do find her attractive, I can't help feeling like I could get a better looking girl) which makes me sound like a really shallow b*stard but hey, I can't help feeling that way. But I loved her all round, looks are only skin deep and we were planning to get engaged. I was hoping that some time apart might make us grow as people and if we tried again, we might get it right this time. I'm at a loss at what to do. I'm scared that if we stay apart, I will lose her without any chance of reconciliation and lose the girl I was supposed to be soul mates with. On the other hand, I'm not sure if getting together again is a bad idea incase I miss out on someone that may be more compatible with me. I really miss the magical adventures we shared and feel like only she can provide a bond like we had. Should I give it another try in the new year to start afresh or should I carry on forcing myself to stay away from her because of these reasons and remain heartbroken and trying to find someone else to fill the void she's left in my heart?

2013-12-04 03:25:52

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