I live Day to Day without the will to live because Im stuck On the fact That we live just to die?

Its killing me how can I turn it around? Let me Explain im depressed I have been Secretly For a long LONG time I can feel the Stress Taking its toll I can Fear My body slowly Waste away My mind going blank My body going number and Weaker Because All I do is dwell on how I had no say in coming on to and into this life Just to experience The Little Bit of happiness in it. But mainly Stress and pain. I somtimes cry over the fact that one day we all are going to die My perents my sisters My Friends, me... how the world really works this depression Has been holding me back from graduating High school im 20 and I have untill may to finsh after 21 thats it im kiked out no more chances. I keep Remmbering my past how being a child you dont have a worry in the world untill you start to see how things really are so much pain. please I dont know what to do anymore Im at a lose mentally killing me im digging myself Deeper and deeper Im afraid im going to end up self destructive.