how to stop feeling this way?

I used to love playing music but lately I just can't be bothered to do it. I used to be really advanced for my age and learning new instruments every month but it feels like I've plateaued and can't get any better no matter how much I practice. college approaching and I really want to major in music but there's no way if get in. no matter how much I practice I never get into honor bands. I can play college level concertos and I play them really well but there's always someone better than me. I never catch a break and I know it's my fault. I'm just not good enough, I'm not reaching my potential. so many adults expect so much from me I keep letting them down and I just really need a break but there's not any time to stop and take a break because college. I'm starting to hate playing music. I hate myself for hating the only thing I actually enjoy. I feel like I'm whining about not getting my way but wow I've tried so hard. I feel like a burn out but I'm only in highschool