Do u think its possible to just stop existing?

I've had some really difficult times growing up. My mother is a narcissist and developed a malignant dislike for me at a very young age (around 5-7). It only got worse as I got older. Anyways, I have succeeded in certain things but have never been able to trust in anyone or anything. This gets old after awhile. I'm in my 30s now and already feel tired in every way - physically, emotionally, and now even spiritually. Is it possible to just stop existing completely? Family bonds have been broken for so long and will never be repaired. I have no one to look over, anyway. Is life after death mandatory ?