Why do I enjoy this?

I know this is really weird but hear me out. So I hate seeing other people in pain it makes me sad right. But for some reason I love to be in specific kinds of pain (not all of them). I enjoy in specific loss of blood in controlled amounts along with sharp contact to the body. I hate however blunt force but the after effect when the pain is gone and the numb feeling is still there. I love to have a tired body even if my mind is still awake such as after drinking or a clove smoke or even just a bit extra NyQuil. Just for the record I don't give into this pleasure though anymore besides just enjoying it when it does happen.