Do women understand the stress the cause by playing games with getting an abortion?

She claimed to have been on birth control and then she became pregnant. As a result, the last 4 months of my young life has been incredibly stressful. She played soccer with my emotions in deciding if she was going to go through with it the abortion. We went to the clinic but the doctor gave her too much time to think and she changed her mind. This happened several times before she eventually did it 4 days ago. I feel like she was getting off on having all of the cards. Over the last 4 months I lost weight and had migraines almost everyday. I had panic attacks in the middle of the night, and insomnia left me with bags underneath my eyes. I sincerely feel traumatized. Everyday she kept telling me to drop out of college and support our child, it was terrifying to me. I felt like I was going to be a failure in life without my education. My heart races just thinking about the abuse that I suffered. I haven't spoken to her since the abortion, I can't speak to her because how could someone who claims to love you treat you like this. I hope this becomes a lesson to women on what not to do. You will lose a good man by playing with this sensitive issue. Thank you for reading.