Can you help with my hair?

So I have super curly hair due to my mom having curly hair and my dad when he didn't shave it! So its a mess! My hair was able to be down at my old house but when we moved my hair never looked the same. I want to wear it down but I live in the dessert so it drys up and frizzes out. My mom says a water softener may help. Is there any products that may help?